


A Love through Letters

by Imagine036



Series: Missing Moments and Extra Pieces [2]
Category: To All the Boys I’ve Loved Before (2018)
Genre: F/M, because you know he was low-key crushed when she proved she didn't read the letters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-03
Updated: 2018-09-03
Packaged: 2019-07-06 09:32:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,144
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15883341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Imagine036/pseuds/Imagine036
Summary: Leaving the letters blank honestly never occurred to him.Or, how one little line in a hand-written contract becomes something else entirely.





	A Love through Letters

They start off exactly as he intended them to; little notes to get under Gen’s skin, to show her that he’s not waiting around, that he’s not lost without her. It never occurred to him to just leave them blank.

 

At first, they say silly little things like _Hi :)_ and _I was wrong about that hand in the pocket thing. Gen was furious._

 

Somewhere along the way, things shift. Writing the notes becomes an almost automatic part of his day. He finds himself tearing out little pieces of paper at random times and scribbling whatever thought had just popped into his head that he _had_ to tell Lara Jean. He doesn’t even think about it anymore.

_Kitty is hilarious._

 

_You thought you were being sneaky, but I caught you googling lacrosse rules on your phone last week._

_Mr. Fraser just quoted Sixteen Candles and I hate that I know that._

_Everyone was so impressed by your presentation in Lit. But especially me. I love having a smartypants fake girlfriend._

_I don’t remember why we stopped hanging out._

 

He wonders if she reads them, if they make her smile like he does when he’s writing them.

 

He doesn’t know what possesses him to do it, maybe some subconscious part of him wants to test a theory and see what happens.

 

_Gabe’s party tonight. I’ll pick you up at 7._

 

He tries not to let it sting when he shows up at her house and she has no idea what he’s talking about. So what if she doesn’t actually read the notes? That’s not the point. To be fair, she probably assumes they’re blank pieces of paper with her name written on the outside. Like everything else about this, the notes are an act.

 

Except they’re not.

 

He isn’t just writing the notes because it’s in the contract; he actually _enjoys_ it. The realization frightens Peter almost as much as it excites him.

 

He doesn’t have time to dwell on it, though, because they’re going to the party and Gen is cornering him in the bathroom and Lara Jean is unabashedly reminding him that this is all fake.

 

He leaves the next few notes blank. It takes a bit of effort, because his fingers itch to write that her dad waiting up for her that night was sweet, or that he likes that she wore her hair down at school two days later. But it’s not like there’s any point to keep writing them. She doesn’t read them, so why put in the effort? He’s not in this for extra homework.

 

At least that’s what he tells himself.

 

In reality, now that he knows for sure she hasn’t been reading them… he’s afraid she’ll _start_. It’s better to play this Gabe note like it was a one-off.

 

Except then she meets his mom and they talk about their parents and the next day he can’t stop himself from filling the blank paper with: _It’s so cool how we can talk about real stuff._

 

And just like that, he’s falling back down the rabbit hole. He doesn’t want to stop.

 

_I know my friends are a lot. They really like you, and I’m really happy you’re getting more comfortable with them._

_You look so pretty today._

_I’ve been a better brother to Owen since we started dating. It’s because I’ve watched you with Kitty._

 

He realizes he forgot to say ‘fake’. He doesn’t correct it.

 

When he gives it to her, she points out that Gen is nowhere nearby. He doesn’t care.

 

The letters have now become an outlet, really. A way for Peter to express the feelings he doesn’t quite understand in the least harmful way possible. Because telling her? That’s not an option. That’s too real, too rich with the possibility of her ripping his heart out and stomping it in the ground less than a year after Gen did the same. He can’t put himself through that. So, instead, he puts it in the letters.

 

_You wore those boots today. I can tell you with absolute certainty that they are hot._

_Your hair is unbelievably silky. Seriously._

_Your eyes are incredible._

 

He’s starting to understand Lara Jean Song-Covey a lot better these days.

 

He has no way of knowing what happens to the letters, and a small part of him always waits with baited breath to see if Lara Jean lets on that she’s read one. She never does. He’s not sure if it disappoints him.

 

The morning of the ski trip, as he’s packing the snacks and honestly feeling like a twelve year old boy about sitting next to her for three hours on the bus, he finally decides he has to do it. He can’t keep prolonging this and hoping for fate to intervene. He has to step up.

 

_Lara Jean, I really like you. I don’t want this to be fake._

 

He blows out a heavy breath and, before he can change his mind, tucks the note underneath the Korean yogurt drinks he went across town to find.

 

The scenario plays out so many different ways in his head as he waits for her to get there. In the span of fifteen minutes, he’s been rejected, kissed, embarrassed in front of the entire bus, caused Lara Jean to leave the bus in the middle of the highway, and smiled at while she tells him that she doesn’t want it to be fake, either.

 

When she finally does appear, he panics, tries to play it cool, and immediately wants to smack himself in the forehead. Did he just throw her the peace sign? Where is the confident guy spinning her around by the back pocket?

 

Gone, he’s gone. Just like all of his carefully laid and agonized over plans as she bypasses him to sit with Chris. So much for that idea.

 

All in all, though, the ski trip has the right ending. At least for the briefest of moments. Until Gen brings it all crumbling down around him and leaving him stunned.

 

This time, he isn’t choosing not to write the notes. He can’t. It’s no longer his place to write them. It kills him to realize he will likely never write one again.

 

But then she’s on the lacrosse field, clutching a piece of paper and stuttering around some sort of confession the way only Lara Jean can. The means don’t matter, though, because the end result is what he’s been hoping for.

 

The next day, she hops into his Jeep with a smile that only widens when he hands her a note.

 

She leans across to kiss his cheek and unfolds it right in front of him.

 

_I’m so happy you’re my girlfriend._

 

She turns back to him, her still-bright smile squashing any trepidation that maybe the reality of the note wouldn’t live up to her fantasy.

 

“Me, too.”


End file.
